Sunday, December 28, 2008

How to maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity


14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Share This With Someone To Make Them Smile. It's Called ... THERAPY

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Job opening in Alaska


Position: Surveyor
Salary: $200 per hour (tax-free)
Qualification: Must be fast on your feet









this one is my personal favorite










Isn't it comforting to know that when you are about to become a bear's breakfast your buddy is standing there taking photos?

Monday, December 08, 2008

Low carb diet supplementation and dieting tips.

In the world of instant messaging, quick Internet interaction and the already multi-faceted day-to-day hectic schedules, dietary food budgeting, planning, preparing and shopping are issues that can become major sources of stress and reasons for dieting failure. Dual income families on-the-go and other super-busy wage earners and dieters often already suffer from more than their share of everyday stress like fears of being laid off, their jobs being relocated or terminated, juggling more than one job, dependents (both elderly and minors) and trying to fund and juggle continuing education into their lives, budgets, and daily routines.

Below you will find some helpful tips about supplementation and dieting, that can help shed pounds and not will power.


CHROMIUN PICOLINATE (Considered a highly effective natural metabolic stimulator.)

BEE POLLEN/BEE PROPOLIS (Super high nutrition value promotes lasting energy.)

B-1 THIAMIN (Essential for carbohydrate metabolism.)

RADIX GINSENG (Recognized as natural energy booster for the last 5000 yrs!)

GAMMA ORYZINOL (May contribute to increased stamina.)

LECITHIN (Powerful nutritional factor vital to both mind and body.)

SARASAPARILLA (Absolutely wonderful herbal extract for increased health and well being.)

INOSINE (A naturally occurring metabolic product which may help reduce fatigue and
improve metabolic functioning.)

Start your diet with a food diary, record everything you eat, what you were doing at the time, and how you felt. That tells you about yourself, your temptation, the emotional states that encourages you to snack and may help you lose once you see how much you eat. There are quite a few good carb counting software programs on the market today to choose from, my personal favorite is CarbTrack. A simple pad and paper works just as well, but you must keep detailed records, in order to guarantee your success. Instead of eating the forbidden piece of candy, brush your teeth. If you're about to cheat, allow yourself a treat, but make sure it's a low carb treat. More and more grocers are caring low carb foods, as the low carb diet's popularity steadily increases.

If you happen to live in a small community or rural area, don't fret, there are also tons of great online Low Carb Marts to choose from, our favorite happens to be Netrition.com.

When hunger hits, wait 10 minutes before eating and see if it passes. Set attainable goals. Don't say, "I want to lose 50 pounds." Say, "I want to lose 5 pounds a month." Get enough sleep but not too much. Try to avoid sugar at all costs. Highly sweetened foods tend to make you crave more. When baking, use a sugar substitute, a great tasting sugar substitute that can be found, along with about any other low carb snack, treat and item at Synergy.com

Drink six to eight glasses of water a day. Water itself helps cut down on water retention because it acts as a natural diuretic. Taken before meals, it dulls the appetite by giving you that "full feeling." Diet with a buddy. Support groups are important, and caring people can help one another succeed. Start your own, even with just one other person.

Substitute activity for eating. When the cravings hit, go to the "Y" or health club if possible; or dust, or walk around the block. This is especially helpful if you eat out of emotional need such as anger or boredom. A good and obvious course of action, would be to begin a workout routine.

If the pie on the counter is just too great a temptation and you don't want to throw it away, freeze it. If you're a late-night eater, have a low carb snack, such as some pork rinds or a few cheese curds, before bedtime to cut down on cravings. Keep a glass of water by your bed to quiet the hunger pangs that wake you up in the middle of the night.

If you use food as a reward, establish a new reward system. Buy yourself a nonedible reward. Write down everything you eat - - everything - including what you taste when you cook. If you monitor what you eat, you can't go off your diet. Again, the easiest way I have found to track my eating habits and records is with CarbTrack.

Weigh yourself once a week at the same time. Your weight fluctuates constantly and you can weigh more at night than you did in the morning, a downer if you stuck to your diet all day. Make dining an event. Eat from your own special plate, on your own special place mat, and borrow the Japanese art of food arranging to make your meal, no matter how normal, look lovely. This is a trick that helps chronic over-eaters and bingers pay attention to their food instead of consuming it unconsciously.

Don't shop when you're hungry. You'll only buy more high carb impulse food. Avoid finger foods that are easy to eat in large amounts. Avoid consuming large quantities of coffee & diet sodas, which are so easy to overdo. And this includes alcoholic beverages. Keep plenty of crunchy foods like raw radishes, cauliflower & broccoli on hand. They're low in carbs, and are very satisfying and filling.

Leave something on your plate, even if you are a charter member of the Clean The Plate Club. It's a good sign that you can stop eating when you want to, not just when your plate is empty.

Lose weight for yourself, not to please your husband, your parents or your friends. Make the kitchen off-limits at any time other than mealtime. Always eat at the table, never in front of the TV set or with the radio on. Concentrate on eating every mouthful slowly and savoring each morsel. Chew everything from 10 to 20 times and count! Never skip meals. This is perhaps the most important low carb diet tip at all. If you skip a meal, it signals to your body that it may need to store fat in case the next meal does not come soon. You can actually lose more weight by eating each low carb meal in the day rather than skipping one, believe it or not.

If you are just beginning the low carb diet, limit your carb intake to the suggested rate of 20 grams a day or less over the first two weeks. After only a few days of doing this, your appetite will decrease dramatically.

I hope you find this article helpful in your low carb lifestyle. If you have not done so already, please stop in at http://www.low-carb-ketogenic-diets.com/recipes/ great recipes, tips, low carb news and much, much more.

Get the 30 day low carb ketosis plan by clicking here its free so why not.

Related Posts and Pages

Natural Dieting Alternatives

Nutrition and Dietary Basics

The Dieting Twelve Steps

Basic Meal And Menu Planning

Social Eating and Traveling Tips

Basic Weight Management


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